How I Learned to Trust My Kids (and Myself) in Homeschooling

When we first started homeschooling, I didn’t realize how much pressure I was carrying.

Not just pressure to teach well, but pressure to prove this whole thing was working. To show results. To stay “on track.” To justify to myself, and sometimes others, that we weren’t messing everything up by walking away from the traditional path.

I printed out schedules. Made color-coded checklists. Bought the curriculum with the best reviews. I was determined to “do it right.”

But pretty quickly, I noticed something strange:
The more I tried to control everything, the more my kids pushed back.
The harder I clung to structure, the more they resisted it.

There was tension in the air during our morning lessons. I was constantly worried we were “behind,” even though no one else was keeping score. I couldn’t enjoy the freedom I’d worked so hard to create, because I wasn’t really free from the school mindset.

And then one day, my son looked up at me and said something simple but sharp:

“I don’t like learning anymore.”

It stopped me in my tracks.

That night, I sat with it. Let it sting. Let it soften me.

And I realized: if we were going to make this work, something had to change.
I had to learn to trust my kids and myself.

Learning to Let Go

I started paying more attention to how my kids naturally learned. What sparked their curiosity. What made them talk endlessly at dinner. What made their eyes light up. I asked myself a hard question:

“What would happen if I stopped trying to replicate school… and started supporting them instead?”

I began to strip things back. I ditched the rigid routine. I stopped worrying about hitting every single subject every single day. We focused on rhythm over routine, curiosity over curriculum, connection over checkboxes.

And slowly… things got better.

Not overnight. But over time, my kids became more engaged. I saw them take ownership of their days. They asked more questions. They got excited about what we were doing and often led the learning themselves.

Trust is a Muscle

I used to think trusting my kids meant “doing nothing.” That it would lead to laziness or gaps.

But now I see:
Trust isn’t passive. It’s intentional. It’s responsive. It’s relational.

Trust means I believe in their ability to learn.
And trust in myself means I don’t need to constantly prove anything to anyone.

And that’s been the biggest shift of all.

If You’re in the Tension Right Now…

If you’re stuck in the in-between, where it feels like the structure isn’t working, but the freedom feels scary, you’re not alone.

This is where many of us begin.

Let it be messy. Let yourself pause. Let go of the picture in your head that you’re trying to live up to.

Because this version-the real, raw, in-progress one-is where the actual learning happens.

You don’t need to look like a teacher to be an incredible homeschool parent. You just need to be present, willing, and a little brave.

You’re doing better than you think.
One day, one lesson, one moment of trust at a time.